Monday, December 29, 2008

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses....

I hate excuses.... I do not know if it is the result of me pledging and the negative connotation of excuses being one of the many lessons drilled into my brain or if its because its something my father has always told me he had no intention of humoring. Whatever the case may be I truly hate excuses and have no patience or energy to deal with them....

I try not to be judgemental I try very hard to let people do what they feel is best for them and let everyone live their own life. However, I have a person in my life right now bringing so....much negative energy my way and I promised myself I would steer clear of negativity at all cost whether it me family, a close friend, or my worse enemy so why I still allow this person to eat at my sole I dont know. She is 7 months pregnant by a married man who left his wife a few years ago to be with her. They now live together but from day one he has shown nothing but disrespect, for her by cheating lying and refusing to leave his wife.... But I guess you cant expect much from a man who cheats on his wife right? I just cant deal with the situation anymore its draining and heartbreaking and sad to see someone deal with such ridiculousness when they deserve so much BETTER. I promised myself no negativity and I really need to seperate myself from this situation.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Patience is a Virtue

Growing up the above statement is something I heard on a daily basis from my dad. It was his way to train to understan this was an essential tool in life in order to achieve any success. So one one think after 24 years of hearing this same statement over and over it would in fact be instilled in my brain. The jokes on my dar old dad because patience is something I truly lack and strive daily to try to achieve. Everytime I think I have gotten a step further in that department I feel like something occurs to put my back at my starting point.

This has been a rough week for me. I work at a job I truly hate. I know hate is a strong word but that pretty much sums it up i despise it the thought of going makes me sad and unhappy. How is this different this week one might ask? Well I am waiting on a job I want really bad and my patience is non existent as I obsessively think about it and check my emails seeing if this great change in my life has arrived in my email. I know its in Gods hands and all I can do is pray but the effect this job has on my daily life has become really emotionally draining.

I am also craving QT time with my husband a friend and I were talking about our husbands and its so funny what men consider time together like us sitting on the bed both on laptops in our own worlds lol or us simply being in the house together although i am on the 3rd and he is in the basement and we dont see each other for hours. NEWS FLASH this is not spending time together in fact its anything but.

I dont know its just been one of those week and as a result I am craving patience because it would simply ease my mind and elp me understand good things come to those who wait and all things happen in due time.

On that night I am going to sleep....

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

How did I know....

I figured since I created this blog over a month ago it was about time I wrote a blog.

Life for me over the last year and a half has beeen amazing. I think I am truly growing into my adult me and I have begun to find myself as so many often put it. I basically have learned to stop living for others and do what I want. I married the love of my life and things have been great. Lauryn Hill puts it best in her sond "I just want you around" as corny as it sounds thats how I feel about Amir I just really want him around.

Since the wedding the question I get sooo often is How did you know that he was the one. All I can say is I knew I found true love for sooo many reasons but here is a list of some of the moments when I was just sold.
  • Amir and I have been together 6 years and in that six years I have done lots of foolish silly things that could have risked this relationship. I knew he was the one because of his patience. Amir is one of the most patient men I know and the fact that he demonstrates that patience on a daily with me makes me know that he is it for me.
  • You know how in movies couples can always tell what the other is thinking or complete their sentences, or perfectly order a meal for their significant other without skipping a beat? Thats totally us. Amir always knows what I am think before I speak. He knows what I love to eat he knows me sometimes better than I know me and that means ALOT to me.
  • Anyone who knows me knows when I am mad thats it leave me alone, stay away, stand clear, and if you really want to continue to be friends just hope and pray I am not to mad because I have very big tendency to cut people off simply because I rather not be bothered. Amir is the ONLY person who can make me super upset but all I want to do is talk to him and work it out.
  • He knows about 1,000 ways to make me laugh
  • He encourages me everyday to strive for all my hopes and dreams.

Like I said I really can go on...with my reasons for how I knew and what it was about him that made me know he was the one but at the end of the day its because I never felt this way about any one else and it feels so right.