Thursday, June 25, 2009


So yes I am a Beyonce fan. I think she is a great singer and I have loved her since she was in Destinys Child singing "No, No, No" Anywho last night I went to the Concert here in DC and it was absolutely amazing!!! She really is a great performer she not only sounded great live but she danced the whole entire which makes for a good show in my opinion.

It was good time....I have added some pics from the concert.

I think it was also a great time for me because this was honestly my first "real" concert. Everyone I know has been to tons of concert and go all the time but I never manage to catch the artist I really want to see. The next concert I want to go to is either the Rock the Bells Concert which is all old school hip hop or a Kanye West Concert.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Feeling Better

AF finally showed up!! I don't know why I am so excited to see AF but I just was ready to move on and try again. It showed at 34 days. So I guess we shall see how this works. I am officially on Cycle 2.

I spoke to a very good friend on Saturday and she really helped me put things in perspective. I realized this will not happen on my time. It will happen when the Lord is good and ready and although I would love for my timing to be his timing as well I realize that may not be how things work... We cant always have what we went as soon as we want it.

Patience!!! I am working on it and I know I will be ok.

Thanks for the talk liyah!!!

and Leelee and Jin thanks for the comments they made me feel so much better!!

Friday, June 12, 2009

Not a Good Day

So I am having a hard time with the absence of my period. Its depressing me. I cant think of a time pre-birth control that I had a cycle over 30 days. I am now at day 31 and just really getting sad at the idea that it can be even longer. I know I am not pregnant so why can't it just show up so I can try again. I am dealing with some resentment also today. I am just resentful that I listened to Amir and didn't follow my first instinct to get off birth control sooner. I feel like this is gonna cause us to take forever to get pregnant. I am also just not understanding why people who don't want to be pregnant or shouldn't be pregnant for whatever reason always end up pregnant? and why is it so hard for those who want it so bad to conceive?

I am also so upset because I am gaining so much weight and I dont know why.... I am really worried about that. I need to find a away to get that under control.

I am just really sad....

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I changed my mind.....

I am buying a BBT. This morning I woke up with no AF but a big BFN (I know I said I would wait a week but I couldn't) at that point it hit me.....

I dont know whats going on with my body and I won't know.....

Sigh I give in.

Not really liking my hubby right now...

Amir and I are not friends right now. I guess thats one of the great things about being in a loving relationship. I love my husband with ALLL my heart and that would never ever change. But just because I love him does not mean I have to like him 24/7. Soo right now I don't like him.

We are both very stubborn and we get into debates neither one of wants to concede and admit fault and it results in us just kinda staring at each other not really budging. Its kind of funny because we will do that until someone folds. Today I folded I got up and walked away to take a shower came back said I am going to bed love you good night and that was that. But I am super annoyed with him right now....


Monday, June 8, 2009

Judgement Week

So my first 2ww is slowly coming to a close. In theory AF should arrive tomorrow although I have no sign or symptom saying that will happen. If I dont get AF by the weekend I will test. I have decided that If I end up on a cycle 3 I will start to chart at that point. I was gonna chart cycle two but I keep feeling like if I purchase a BBT its admitting that I have been defeated this cycle. I am not ready to admit that yet. I am still wishing and hoping and preying that I am pregnant NOW. We shall see I will keep you posted.

Monday, June 1, 2009

I Passed!!!

I had to take my Math exam this morning in order to recieve my provisional certification and I passed!! I am so glad that is over with. I have failed it by 1 point twice!!! which is more frustrating than failing it substantially. But today I not only passed but I passed by quite a few points :-) So I am free from standardized test. For now.

In cycle news I am either 6 or 7 days past ovulation not 100% sure. I had some cramping on yesterday and the day before which made me nervous because I thought maybe I missed O but then I noticed lotion like CM which is not fertile so I think I am safe.

So this cycle will be over sometime next week I hope. Unless I end up like one of the GP ladies with 100 days with AF that would really suck and make me sad :-(

Well time will tell.