Thursday, July 22, 2010

How things change...

Before I became a mother and even before I was ever pregnant I had this ideal of what I would do when I had a child. I have to admit although I stick to tons of the things I am committed to A LOT has also changed.

Co-sleeping was something I was against up until Alex left my belly. I thought it was dangerous and I just did not want to create a habit we could not break. I now could never give a co-sleeping parent a side eye because this baby has not left my side since the moment he was born. I have tried him in his bassinet and he just cries. No one get any sleep when we attempted to make him sleep in his own space and we are all so much happier when he is sleeping with us. I spoke with a lactation consultant earlier this week and realized that co-sleeping is likely something that we won't break out of for at least the first year. I plan to breast feed for a year and the LC made it clear to me that in her experience working moms who have long term breast feeding goals are more successful when they co-sleep. This being the case simply because that is when I will nurse the most. I think if told this when I was pregnant I would not have been willing to see past baby sleeping with us. Now all I can see is maintaining my goal of nursing for a year at whatever cost.

I am also a huge baby wearer. I thought Alex would be in a stroller more but my Moby Wrap is the BEST baby gift we received!! It is so much easier to get around with him wrapped all snug as a bug on my chest then lugging the stroller every where. The wrap has also become a necessity in order to get daytime chores done. We needed to get laundry done and needed to straighten up. Alex likes to be close and it was to a point where when he was down he was crying and no one could accomplish a thing. Now I wrap in my Moby and we keep moving. If had to give any advice to a new parent it would be to find a carrier, wrap or sling that you like and definitely invest in it! Its been worth it for us.

The more I read and the more I learn about my parenting style the more I understand the philosophies of attachment parenting. I don't think Alex wanting to be close to his mom and me accommodating that is me spoiling him. I believe that letting a baby Cry it Out or forcing a newborn into a schedule before they are ready is a bit much. Just like life has changed drastically for us it has for them too! Babies spend 9 months in the warmth of their mommies wombs. When they come out things change a great deal for them as well!

I am loving every moment of mommy hood and I will admit I have pretty much separated from society. I go back to work A LOT sooner than most. Alex will be 8 weeks and I just want to enjoy every single second I have with him before I have to leave him. As a result I have taken to answer the phone less and playing, feeding and napping with my baby MORE!

He has a pediatrician appointment next week so I will give updates on him then!

Tonight I am going to a meeting with ICAN which stands for the International Ceserian Awareness Network. Its a support group for women who have had C-Sections and for me I think it will be a way to continue to come past the fact that I had to have one. I am looking forward to meeting some new moms as well!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

2 Weeks and counting and Newborn photos

Life has been a whirlwind for me so far! But I am loving every moment of it. Alexander keeps me super busy but I have a great baby. We had a Pediatrician appointment last week and all is well he is back up to his birth weight ( he lost a few pounds in the hospital) and breast feeding is going very well. We are starting to work out a routine in the evening and even at the age of 2 weeks he is sleeping a large portion of the night! I really could not ask for anything more out of this beautiful baby of mine!

As far as the birth I have truly come to terms and am at peace with the way things worked out. Everything happens for a reason and this is just one of those things. I saw Marsha my midwife today and she gave me the all clear to come out of the house and get some exercise in which I have been anxious to do. I still have to take it easy and I am still not allowed back on horses for at least another 6 weeks!! I am DYING to get back into a riding routine. I can not wait until Alex is old enough to ride!

Amir went with me to my appt. today and we discussed birth control going forward. We decided to go with the paraguard IUD. We are not sure what the plans are for when or if there will be a number 2 and I do not want hormones in my body any more. So at my next appt in about 6 weeks thats what I will be getting.

I can't think of any other updates life in our home has calmed down a bit and the visitors have slowed down. It was very overwhelming for a while and my mother in law and I are actually at odds surrounding her smothering me the first few days of Alex's birth, but thats a entry all on its own lol. I firmly suggest setting firm boundries with family and friends about your expectations for guest before babies arrive it will make life so much easier!

Any way we had newborn photos taken here are a few of my favorites!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

The Birth of Alexander

I woke up on the morning of Sunday June 27, 2010 at 41 weeks and 1 day pregnant and knew in my heart it was time for Alexander to arrive. I looked down at my belly as I have done so often in my pregnancy and began to speak with my child. I explained to him that today it was time and that I felt it was important for us to meet. After speaking with my little one I turned to my husband and said the same thing he patted my belly and kissed me and told me it would happen.

My midwife gave me the all clear to take Castor Oil to induce labor at any point after 41 weeks. My plan was to wait until Tuesday the 29th but I decided I would take it on this day. I called my birth center and spoke with the midwife on call she gave me instructions on how to take the Castor Oil and told me to call if I went into labor. About an hour later Marsha, the midwife who was set to deliver my baby called me and said she wanted to come by my house and check my cervix. I took the Castor Oil and waited for Marsha. Before she arrived I had thrown up the Castor Oil I had taken that morning. When Marsha arrived she said I still had a closed cervix and we decided that the scar tissue I had from a previous procedure was preventing my cervix from dilating. Marsha used her finger to push pass the scar tissue and she was able to get me open to 1 centimeter. She also swept my membranes and told me to take another dose of Castor Oil later that afternoon.

Amir and I went out ran a few errands and I took a second dose of Castor Oil about 2pm. I assumed it had not worked because outside of going to the bathroom a few times I had not felt anything. I spoke with Marsha and she agreed the Castor Oil didn't sound like it worked and we set a plan for the morning for me to come in and see her at the Birth Center to try another natural induction method. The goal was to avoid medical induction which was scheduled for later that week.

At about 5pm I started feeling some irregular contractions that came every 10 minutes apart. They were not painful and I managed to get a nap in at this time. I woke up about 7:30pm ate dinner and just laid around watching TV with Amir still thinking that nothing was going to happen. About 12am Amir told me I should get some rest since I had an appt in the morning so I agreed and settled in to get some sleep. All of a sudden I feel a kick from the baby and hear a pop and have the urge to use the bathroom. I got up and told Amir that did not feel normal and went into our bathroom. Once I sat on the toilet I was certain my water had broken. I called Amir and asked if it looked like that to him and he said absolutely.

I called Marsha and told her my water had broken but my contractions were still very irregular. She told me to try and sleep before active labor really started going and to give her a call in the morning, unless I needed to call her sooner. Regular contractions started almost immediately coming every 5 minutes apart. I labored at home until about 5am before we called Marsha and agreed it was time to head to the birthing center. We arrived at the birthing center about 5:30am and my Birthing Assistant Kelly was already there. Kelly got us set up in a room and helped me get comfortable. At this point my contractions are about 3 minutes apart. Marsha arrives and checks my progress I am 1 and half centimeters she opens me to two but said she noticed the baby's head was not dropping down into the pelvis as it should be. She said that as labor progressed we would keep and eye on that and see what was going on. His heart rate was fine and at this point he was handling my contractions like a champ. At about 7:30am Marsha checked me again and I was now 3 centimeters. I decided to get into the tub and I labored there for a few hours and then got up and walked around. After Several hours my contractions were coming on top of each other and I was feeling a great deal of pressure. The most comfortable place for me to handle a contraction was sitting on the toilet because I felt like I had to go to the bathroom. This should have been a GREAT sign!! It was now after 12pm and I had not been checked in awhile. Based on the way I was feeling I was praying I was in transition. This is where things take a huge turn. Marsha checks me and I am still the same 3 centimeters I was 5 hours ago but my contractions had become so intense. We checked the baby's heart rate and it was dropping with contractions. Also he still had not engaged any lower into the Pelvic bone.

It is at this point Marsha gives me the advice I feared most. She wanted to go to the hospital. She said she had a strong feeling I would need a C-section but that maybe I just needed to try and epidural and relax more. It had been hours and the baby simply was not coming down. She said her suspicion was he would not. I trust Marsha with all my heart and her reputation is never to send patients to the hospital unless she thinks it is absolutely necessary so to the hospital we went. Laboring in the car was HORRIBLE and I am sure I scared Amir because I was screaming with every contraction and kept asking if we were almost there.

We arrived at the hospital at about 1pm and by 2pm I had an epidural. I was very upset about this but felt that if this was going to help me get the vaginal birth I desired than it was worth it. Marsha and Kelly stayed with me the entire time I was in the hospital which I am so grateful for there was even a point where they needed to advocate for me. A resident came in checked me and I was 4 centimeters and told me i had not dilated in hours and needed pitocin. I of course did not want that. Both Marsha and Kelly pointed out that this was ridiculous. My contractions were coming very strong and on top of each other. Even with an epidural I felt every contraction and the urge to push. Additionally they pointed out that the strength of my contractions was very difficult for baby already pitocin would only make that worse. The resident said nothing else and said he would get the doctor. Before the doctor came in the check on me Alex's heart rate dropped tremendously a few times I know one time it was below 60 which made me extremely nervous.

The Doctor came in to check me about 5 and said that he did not like the baby's heart rate and it was making him extremely nervous. His recommendation was a C-Section as his suspicion was that the babys cord was wrapped around his neck and that was what was preventing him from dropping lower into my pelvic bone like he needed too. My heart dropped this was my BIGGEST fear for this pregnancy and I really did not want surgery. I looked around the room and everyone, Marsha, Kelly and Amir agreed this was best for Alexander. In my heart I knew it was what was best as well. I had to wait awhile for the surgery because there was someone ahead of me and I cried. I cried because this birth I worked so hard to plan was going wrong in so many ways. I cried because some how I felt this was my fault and maybe I had given up and I cried because I was scared out of my MIND. I had never even broken a bone before and now I am being told in the next few hours I am going be having major abdominal surgery. I kept thinking of all the bad things I had read and all the possibilities of what could go wrong.

At 6:30pm I was prepped for surgery and the Doctor ran through the procedure with me. I was very happy because she made it clear she would do everything in her power to assure I was able to have a VBAC in the future. My birth plan had been read and they understood my concerns! I was still very scared. Amir was handed some scrubs and I was wheeled down to an OR. The whole surgery was surreal to me your awake but your whole body feels like its on pins and needles and although you can not feel the pain of the surgery you can definitely feel that they are working on you. I felt every tug and push and all kinds of pressure and even as they go through the process I am still scared. Then I hear the cry of my son and I look up and see this beautiful baby being held over the divider and all I can do is CRY. My fear is no longer my concern but my son is. Amir jumped up and ran to take pictures. They suctioned him out and brought him to lay on my chest and from that moment forward my world had changed. I immediately no longer cared about myself as a priority but my new little boy.

Alexander Kelson Greene was born via C-Section on Monday, June 28, 2010 at 7:01pm. He was 6lbs. 150z and 20 inches long. It was determined that he was unable to drop down into my pelvic bone was because of the cord as well as his position. Despite all the methods I had tried he returned back to his posterior position that he was in a few weeks prior to birth. The position prevented him from passing any further in the pelvic bone and my poor baby actually had some bruises and scrapes from being stuck the way he was in my pelvis. I am so in love with this little boy. After surgery I was taken back to my room where I was able to breast feed immediately. I can honestly say I don't think my boy has left my side since.

I stayed in the hospital for 4 days and recovery has been OK. I admit that when I am in pain or am slow getting things done I get upset because I remember that this isn't the way it was suppose to be. I had a long talk with my Birth Assistant and with Marsha and they both assured me that they felt this birth was suppose to end this way and there was nothing I did wrong. My son had his own plan. I am getting over the whole C-section thing and the more I look at my son the more I fall in love with him and the more I forget about the birth because we are now moving on to a whole new chapter. My life as a new mother!!!