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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Broken....

Its crazy hour in 5 minutes your whole entire life can change....

Almost a year ago today I peed on a pregnancy test and in 5 minutes knew I would be a mom. I felt this lump in my breast and Amir told me I was crazy Almost a year ago. A few months after the first time I noticed it I pointed it out to Amir again and this time he absolutely agreed. I called the doctor she checked it and told me it was "probably just a cyst" and that there was not much that can be done until I had the baby. She did however recommend I get an ultrasound and I did. The ultrasound to my knowledge revealed a mass, but again I was told it was just a cyst and that I would be referred to a breast surgeon to have it removed after the baby was born.

I saw a Lactation Consultant during my pregnancy to make sure I would be able to breast feed in light of the lump. She told me I should be able to but also insisted that I go see the Breast Surgeon before giving birth. She said if it was a cyst they could aspirate it so that it was not an issue at all. So I made an appt for June 28th. I went into labor on the 27th and needless to say, I missed that appointment. I called on the 29th to reschedule and was told to wait 6 weeks since I planned to breast feed. By then breast feeding should be well established. So I made an appt for sometime in August and again had to reschedule because it was the first day of school.

This all leads us to Monday.

I go in FINALLY to see this Breast Surgeon several months after the initial discovery of this lump. She initially seems optimistic about what it is and says she wants to do another Ultrasound and biopsy that day. This is when I realized things were not be stated...this is when I realized things where bad....

She mentioned that there was a lot of blood flow around the mass which typically means Cancer. She said she could not definitively say that because it could simply be a result of my breast feeding. She took some samples and then said several things that made me realize I should worry. She first informed the nurse she wanted the lab results rushed. She then told me I was to report back to her office Wednesday afternoon and the words I will never forget...."Plan to bring someone with you...Just in case" Thats when I knew things were only about to get worse.

Today in 5 minutes my whole life changed.

I was told that I at 26 years old have breast cancer. Once I heard those words I can not even begin to tell you what was said...

I started hearing words like Mastectomy, Chemotherapy, Short Term Disability, Weaning etc... I am so overwhelmed and really don't know how to feel...

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